


Counting to Death

by notlikely (eevoch)



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with no happy ending, Blood, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Eve-centric, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Non-Graphic Violence, POV Third Person, Some innacuracies probably, Spoilers for Routes A/B, kind of, non-graphic description of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 01:06:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17991905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eevoch/pseuds/notlikely
Summary: Brother told him to wait, so that's what he did. He waited, and waited, but brother still didn't come back. Maybe, if he counted to one hundred, then big brother would come back.If he counted to two hundred...If he counted to three hundred...





	Counting to Death

**Author's Note:**

> UHHHHhhhhhhhH yeah idk i never write angst for them but like i had to it was inevitable, this just really tracks what eve did while he waited for adam to come back from the copied city in routes a/b, heavily based and inspired by the nier automata long story short novel, which made me weep, i love eve and you can pry him from my cold dead hands
> 
> Ive been on this site posting for almost a year and i sTILL dunno how to tag smh
> 
> That title is a car seat headrest pun

It wasn't as if Eve thought his brother didn't love him, that wasn't it at all. He simply knew that Adam had bigger interests than him, but that didn't matter. Not when he got the privilege of just being by his brother and spending time with him, nothing else mattered then. Eve did anything his brother asked him to, even if he didn't understand it. Which was why he was helping him set up the android bait in their playground. They looked quite ugly, he thought, scattered amongst the spotless city of white. 

“Can we play here now?” He asked, standing on one of the smaller white blocks and jumping over to another. Adam only shook his head, walking back to the entrance of the city, with the elevator that took them down and away from it.

Eve pouted, dragging his feet when he walked over to his brother to follow him. Adam saw the dejected look on his face and sighed, placing a hand on his head. “We can play later, I have to make sure this goes perfectly. If you're really good, I'll even let you skip your readings.” He promised Eve, and that seemed to be more than enough to satisfy him. The younger machine eagerly followed his brother through the caves, splashing in the shallow water that he now stood in. 

Adam didn't look overly pleased with dirty water droplets scattering over his glasses, but he let Eve enjoy himself for a moment before he insisted they go back. Everything had to be set up perfectly, and Adam was sure it was alright for Eve to not know exactly what he planned to do. The machines headed back with a mix of teleporting and simply walking, going back to the tall building that had the long stretching table at the top. Adam sat down, but Eve was quick to bound over to him, abandoning his own chair.

“Brother, let's play!” Eve whined again, shrouding around Adam and pulling at his sleeves. Adam sighed, pushing up his glasses and not facing Eve.

“I'm busy.” He said shortly, which he was busy. He was thinking, and preparing to go face one of the biggest questions he'd posed to himself yet.

Eve wasn't deterred, however. “Let's play human! I know how much you like to, so we can play that!” He begged, resting his chin on top of Adam's head and shaking his shoulders. He didn't seem to register that he had already asked Adam to play earlier, his hope renewed that maybe his brother would play with him.

Adam felt a bit of his resolve break, he let his posture slump for a mere moment. Eve was too innocent to ever take his own wants into account, always insisting they do what Adam wants. “Later, okay?” He muttered to his little brother, reaching a hand up to comfortingly pat his cheek.

“When can we play?” Eve's face lit up and he bounced on his toes with excitement. His eyes revealed a shimmer of childlike glee.

“After I finish my business.” Adam repeated to him, knowing full well there was a possibility he may not return. Of course, he didn't tell Eve this. The childish machine let out another petulant whine, deciding to himself that he would go with Adam to deal with his business. He'd follow his brother to the ends of the Earth after all.

Adam decided it was time, standing up from his chair and pushing it in. Eve immediately went to follow him. “Stay here, Eve.” Adam demanded, turning to pause his younger brother mid-step with a stern look. The younger machine tilted his head curiously, a small frown tugging at his lips.

Eve’s hopes were dashed, worry spiking in his core. “Why, brother? Wouldn’t you like my help?” Eve asked, wringing his hands together at the prospect of Adam leaving him for any given amount of time. He trusted his brother, but if anything ever happened to him, Eve knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it together, his world was nothing without Adam.

Adam walked over to his brother, patting his head with a gentle smile. “You need to stay here, be good. If you’re a good boy, I promise we’ll play when I get back.” He said easily, knowing the promise of anything would be enough for Eve to settle down.

“Okay, I'll wait until you finish your business.” Eve sighed, feeling the unease lift a bit at the promise of Adam returning.

“That's right. Wait here.” Adam told him yet again, just to make sure Eve really got the message. This time he seemed like he understood. “Can you wait by yourself?” He asked once more, just to make sure. Just to make sure. Eve had to stay here, or else he wouldn't have any real proof of what the feeling of death felt like.

“Here…” Eve whispered, “I'll wait here, and then you'll play with me. You promised, so I'll wait. By myself.” He went and sat down at his seat, his voice and speech patterns going slightly rough and mechanical.

“Good boy.” Adam muttered with a rare smile, knowing the praise would soothe Eve's nervousness a bit. He saw his brother's red eyes light up again.

“I'll wait until big brother comes back.” Eve said, more to himself than to Adam if anything, really.

“I’ll be back once I’m done dealing with the androids.” Adam turned to walk away, giving Eve a final glance before teleporting away from the building and making his way towards the Copied City.

Eve began to wait, bored, pulling at his lips and tapping his feet under the table. He hoped Adam took care of it quickly, so that he could come back and they could play. He slumped down in his chair, sitting and waiting, not liking how quiet it was without Adam there. Not that Adam talked a whole lot, but rather, whenever Adam was there, Eve spoke up a storm; he cherished every moment he had with his brother. Talking to him was no different. Of course, he wanted to chase down his brother to their playground, to help him in any way he could, but he stayed put. He stayed where he was so he could be good, and Adam would feed him scraps of praise for listening and being good.

The stale wind blew around him, rustling through his short hair and blowing around a few of the leaves Eve had ripped from the trees and set by the table. He remembered when Adam asked him why he was doing that, grabbing onto branches and tearing the dark green leaves off of them, and Eve simply told him it was because they looked pretty, so he wanted to keep them.

Eve felt a soft smile grace his features at this memory, any memory with Adam never failed to make him grin and cause a small burst of sparks through his circuits. From the moment he was born, he had his brother, sure it was terrifying and filled with screaming, his own screaming, but he always had his brother. There was a lot of red, but he was able to get his brother to safety, and from that moment he knew he had to protect him, to keep him safe from whatever tried to hurt him. Including those stupid androids, they hurt big brother, so he didn't like them.

He continued to wait, even when he grew agonisingly bored. Eve knew he had to wait for brother to come back, so then they could play and brother would call him a “good boy” and tell him how proud he was of Eve for waiting. Sure, playing human was pretty boring, but Adam liked it, so Eve gladly went along.

The young machine really did wish he could've gone along with Adam to their playground, it wasn't very fair that he went alone. And Eve could help! So it wasn't fair that Adam went alone, but Eve stayed put, no matter how badly he wanted to chase after his brother. He made a decision to never break promises with his big brother, and he promised to stay put.

A sharp jolt shocked Eve out of his thoughts. He sat up, patting around his body for any signs of damage, but there was none. His anxious feeling spiked again and he hastily tried to contact Adam through the network- but he was gone. Eve's eyes widened and he let out a shrill sound of fear, trying desperately to find his connection to Adam, focusing as much as he could for even the smallest spark. His worst fears were manifesting; he lost the feeling that they were connected.

His instinct to run to Adam had flared up more than ever, to go find his big brother and make sure he was safe, but he couldn't. He made a promise to stay where he was. He tried to tell himself that big brother was fine, that he might have disconnected on purpose to focus better or to trick the androids. Brother was smart, he'd be okay, that's what Eve told himself. Adam had to be okay, he promised to come back and play with him once he was done. They never broke promises to each other. 

He should've just killed them back then, Eve started fidgeting after another hour and began muttering that to himself. But Adam insisted they didn't, and cut the battle short, even if they would have beaten them with a little more time. He promised Eve they'd play after, and they did, so he didn't think this would ever be a problem. His breathing picked up, getting quicker with each minute of Adam's absence. He should've just killed them back then, he regrets not doing it now.

“Maybe if I count to one hundred, big brother will come back.” He mumbled shakily, having to count aloud as his muddled mind couldn't focus on the numbers if he counted in his head.

“One… two… three… four… five…” He began, his voice hitting a crescendo at the end of each number. That's how he always counted when him and Adam played hide and seek. He was always pretty bad at it, since whenever Adam would come near his hiding spot, he would giggle and accidentally give himself away. Eve felt his throat close up at the memory, his eyes burning with an unfamiliar wet sensation.

“Twenty-six… twenty-seven… twenty-eight…” He counted louder, like somehow Adam would hear him and sense his worry, and come back to him. He felt the empty feeling inside his core only grow stronger the longer he felt disconnected from Adam, it almost hurt enough to cause him physical pain.

Eve wrapped his arms around himself, wishing his brother was here to scold him for not reading or for not eating fruit. That would be better than the horrible gut punching feeling of him not being there at all. Anything would be better if Adam was just _here_ with him. He looked where Adam had books stacked beside his chair, the one he was reading before still opened to the page he left it at. Page one hundred sixty-two. It's oddly specific how he remembered that, but Adam would always tell Eve when he turned to a new page by telling him the number. It helped the younger machine when he was learning how to count. Eve's sturdy body shook as he counted, trembling with each number. He wanted to run to their playground and help his brother, and then they could play, but he had to wait. He felt like he was waiting forever.

He reached one hundred faster than he thought, and Adam still wasn't back. Eve sighed, putting his head in his palms and whining like a child. “If I count to two hundred, big brother will come back.” He said, attempting to convince himself.

Adam was smart, smarter than Eve, and he was pretty strong too. He should be fine. He had to be fine.

“One hundred thirty… one hundred thirty-one…” His voice was straining as he counted, clenching and unclenching his fists. The feeling when he no longer _felt_ Adam, that they weren't connected, he could've died just then. But he had trust in his brother, that he'd come back and play with him. Just like he promised. That didn't make the feeling go away, though. His eyebrows were in a constant furrow of worry, and he simply longed to be connected to his brother again.

The world was nothing without him, and Eve couldn't handle not knowing if he was okay.

He kept counting, his tone going from mechanically anxious, to jumping around in volume, to settling at an unsettling monotone by the time he reached two hundred.

“If I count to three hundred…” Eve choked out, beginning again and starting to count. The anxious feelings had began to amplify at such a level that it wore him down to where he could only count in the unsettling monotone of before.

Every memory he shared with Adam flashed at the forefront of his mind, and was the only thing keeping him from breaking his promise. Anytime brother would give him the smallest of smiles or ruffle his hair, the memory of that made Eve that much more willing to wait. When Adam got back he would make sure to tell Eve how good, how _good_ he was for waiting, and play with his hair, and maybe take him to the pretty area with all the lights and sound. He wouldn't make him read, and would play would play with him and spend time with him and never leave him again. Eve's mind spiraled with the thought of it, thinking about all the time he'd get to spend with Adam once he came back.

“Two hundred forty-six… two hundred forty-seven… two hundred twenty-eight… two hundred forty-nine… brother, please come back.” He briefly broke his chain to cry out, whining and laying his forehead on the table. Eve quickly resumed his counting, not wanting to lose his place. With each hundred he hit, with each passing moment that Adam wasn't there with him, he felt sick. He felt like oil was about to start spewing past his lips at any moment.

He didn't understand, he didn't get why Adam was taking so long, brother wasn't one to waste time. He always did things quickly and efficiently so why wasn't he back? Eve felt so worried, he had half a mind to shut down so he didn't have to feel the sickening fear and anxiety pool within him. But he had to keep counting, he had to be awake when big brother came home. Oh how he wished for him to come back. He drawled on counting, wringing and scratching at his hands with each wave of dread that washed over him. Eve didn't handle being away from Adam well at all, whenever they were separated, Eve would feel like there was nothing that could go right. The feeling of everything going wrong always lasted until he was at his brother's side again, and then he felt like he could do anything.

But Adam wasn't here right now, he hadn't been back quickly like he said he would, and Eve was still counting. Still waiting, not moving from his chair, so that he could be good. 

“Seven hundred fifty-four… seven hundred fifty-five… seven hundred fifty-six…” He dragged his fingers over the splintered wood of the table, just so he stopped clawing and scratching at his palms and the backs of his hands. It started to hurt after he hit five hundred. Some numbers had tumbled past his lips in pleading whimpers, a silent plea to not have to do this anymore. To not be alone, to not be without his brother. Time had passed in a strange measure, Eve was so occupied with counting he had forgotten how long it had been.

He had always had the worse posture out of the two of them, but it seemed to get even worse as Eve was hunched over, his back in what had to be an uncomfortable bend as he rested his head forward on the table. He didn't have the energy to sit up mildly straight anymore. When he reached one thousand, he was simply reduced to mumbling. Each number was punched out of him like it hurt to say, and Eve begged to the depths of his core that he didn't have to do this anymore.

He could feel his body begin to malfunction, each time he spoke his voice sounded of the same mechanical whir that it gained whenever his emotions got the best of him. He adjusted his position to rest his cheek on the table, a single tear running down his face and ending at his lips. His nails speared the wood of the table, digging in once he reached one thousand two hundred. The hundreds seemed to go faster now that he was in the thousands, but it still felt painfully slow since with each number Eve tensed up and tried to reach Adam on the network. He was met with nothing each time. Complete static, he couldn't feel anything, still. This was slowly becoming more real when he reached one thousand five hundred. What if brother was hurt? And he needed Eve to help him because he couldn't walk back on his own? The thought alone almost had Eve leaping from his seat and teleporting faster than ever. Almost. He had to stay, he promised he would.

The young machine just wished he could even contact his brother, to even hear him, or feel anything from him at all. The recurring thought that anything would be better than nothing was sharp in his mind.

“One thousand nine hundred twenty-four… one thousand nine hundred twenty-five…” He wheezed, trembling where he sat. This was so scary, even when he was away from Adam before, brother had always been connected to the network. There was never a time where Eve couldn't feel him. Two thousand hit him like a ton of bricks. He's counted to two thousand and big brother still hadn't come back. Did he not want to come back because he didn't want Eve to be in danger? If so, he thought that was a silly idea. Eve knew he could fight for himself, Adam knew that too. Eve tried to think of reasons as he counted, making it to two thousand three hundred forty-two before running out of ideas that made a sliver of sense.

At some point in his pondering, a few more tears dripped down from his deep pools of red. Not many, maybe three or four, and Eve didn't know how his eyes could produce such a wetness. Adam probably knew, Eve wished he would come back and he could ask him and Adam would comfort him and tell him everything was okay and that they would be okay and safe from the androids.

Adam was so smart, he could ask his brother anything, and he'd be able to answer it. Even though Eve didn't understand many things, Adam was always patient with him and explained the answer to any question he had. It was a patience that grew short at times, when Adam would tell him to “quit griping” and “be quiet”, but that was understandable to Eve. He knew that brother sometimes would grow tired of answering all his questions while he tried to read, but he always did and promised to play with Eve after, so that was all that mattered.

When he reached three thousand, a core crushing idea came across his mind. What if Adam wasn't coming back because he had grown tired of Eve? Tiring of always having someone glued to his side, so he left him. Eve felt oil actually build up in his mouth at that, spitting to the side, he continued counting with an unsteady voice. Adam wouldn't do that, he thought. Eve _knew_ he wouldn't, even if big brother didn't like Eve as much as Eve liked him, he wouldn't just leave him all alone like this. He couldn't, Eve floundered for something to back his reasoning for why Adam wouldn't leave him, but couldn't find many strong points. He shook, trembling, and wrapped his arms around himself, nails digging into his bare arms.

He missed brother's cool gaze, how he intensely focused on things, how his hands moved around when he explain the story of a book to Eve who didn't always quite understand. Eve had adopted that trait from Adam, and regularly flung his hands around when he talked about something that excited him.

A few times he almost stopped counting, the horrendous feeling of dread draping over him like a blanket that was much too hot and much too heavy. But he kept counting, not missing a beat and breaking four thousand with shaking hands.

It was so lonely up here all by himself, he wished there was even a small machine to keep him company. Of course, brother would be the best option for company, but he'd counted to four thousand and big brother still hadn't come back. He wanted nothing more than for big brother to come back and hug him tightly and tell him how good he was for waiting for so long. 

“Four thousand two hundred six… four thousand two hundred seven… four thousand two hundred eight…” Eve thumped his head against the table a few times to keep his thoughts from getting muddy and jumbled. He'd been without connection to big brother for far too long and his core ached with longing.

Eve brought his hands up to his hair and tugged when he broke four thousand five hundred sixty-four. It seemed like it had been days since he last felt connected to big brother, but it had likely only been a few hours. Eve was in agony, waiting and waiting, he tugged and pulled as he counted out another hundred.

When he got to five thousand his mind tumbled further. He always relied on his brother, depended on him for emotional support in every case possible. He was so impossibly attached to Adam that going this long without him made him feel so incredibly sick and he felt oil pool up in his mouth again. He paused his counting to spit it out where the small puddle from earlier had resided, cringing at the awful taste and gunky feeling.

Eve knew he was emotionally weak without Adam, he could have all the strength in the world but none of it would matter if he didn't have his brother. He depended on big brother to brighten his day and just exist by him and allow Eve to be near him. He wondered if he was more independent like Adam was if he would be writhing in his seat at being completely separated from him for this long.

“Five thousand four hundred thirty-two… five thousand four hundred thirty-three…” He sobbed, beginning to pick at the blackened skin on his arm. He had no clue how that got there, the weirdly designed tattoo never itched or caused him problems, it simply existed. He hated looking at it right now, it separated him from Adam in likeness and he wanted to be as much like him as possible. Sure, maybe it wasn't the most sensible thought, but Eve was quite far past sensible thoughts at this point. His blunt nails dug and dug into his arm, scratching at the tattoo that ran down it. Giving up after some time, he let his hands fall back to the table, scratching across the wood as pain blossomed in his arm. A few small drops of blood ran down his arm, falling like the tears that previously tracked down his face.

Six thousand was a painful reach, emotionally and physically for Eve. His limbs began to ache with the anxious feelings that only got stronger as the time passed. His wounds healed physically quickly, as they always did since he was connected to the network, but it still agitated him that the inky marks on his arm would always separate him from his big brother. The counting only got more boring as meaner thoughts got more and more invasive as he willed himself to wait. At some point he almost knocked the table over, but pressed his hands to his sides in fists to control his urges, grunting out numbers between clenched teeth. He didn't think Adam would appreciate it very much if he made a mess, or lost his page in his book.

He couldn't handle waiting anymore, it was worrying him beyond belief how long Adam had been gone. That thought swirled back to the forefront of his mind with each hundred he reached. It worried him endlessly because Adam was taking way too _long._

“Six thousand three hundred four… six thousand three hundred five… six hundred three hundred six…” He hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose like he saw his brother do all the time when he thought and tried remembering what his brother taught him. To always keep a level head, no matter what, because only then is when you can think properly. The subject was mostly lost on Eve, who never used much rational thought when fighting or taking any actions, going with instinct, which contrasted with Adam's largely strategic way of deep thinking. He took a deep breath, continuing to count on the exhale, Adam was probably on his way back now as he waited, and would explain why he disconnected and everything would be okay again.

He just had to wait a little bit longer, he was sure of it.

Eve struggled with his inner conflicting feelings to maintain those thoughts and remained calm, but they seemed to hold through all the way up until halfway through seven thousand. Once he reached seven thousand five hundred, the hope started to wither again, being overcome the worry and anxiety that had been bubbling within him the whole time. His nails found home in the wood of the table again, his hands shaking as he scratched at the damaged surface. The stressed lines on his otherwise unblemished face only deepened when he finally reached eight thousand and Adam still had not returned, nor given a single sign that he was okay.

He looked down from the building, feeling the wetness in his eyes again when he gazed upon the soft green tones far below. A recent memory stuck to him, simply running around down there because he wanted to play and Adam had seemed satisfied enough with how much he read to let him, chasing him around as some sort of game. Eve remembered Adam saying that it helped him understand what humans did for fun, so he didn't mind obliging his little brother that bit of time to spend time with him and enjoy himself.

A strange feeling crawled up his throat when he tried to mumble out eight thousand two hundred forty. It made it hard to speak until he coughed a few times, counting his next numbers a little faster to make up for the seconds he lost.

He missed the feeling of being connected to Adam, they had always been connected, from the very start, and now it felt like a sense of security was suddenly ripped away and he was simply wandering around, lost and blind.

Only, he wasn't wandering around, he was sitting exactly where he was told and refusing to move from the chair that was beginning to splinter in some places. He was sitting, lost and blind, stuck at a crossroads of if he should keep his promise and wait, or if it had been too long and he needed to go find his big brother this second.

“Eight thousand seven hundred sixty-seven… eight thousand seven hundred sixty-eight…” Eve sighed, another whine rose from his throat, one of uncertainty. He didn't know what he was supposed to do when this happened, Adam never told him anything like this _would_ happen. So he didn't know how to act when his brother had been gone for so long after promising to come back quick. When he counted to nine thousand he thought he heard footsteps; he jolted to attention, feeling his chest go fluttery with excitement and counted in whispers as he looked in every direction.

The footsteps went away, and Eve felt his shoulders dip and quiver with a silent sob as the one thread of hope dangled so close to his fingers, only to speed away before he could grasp it. That was almost like a cruel joke, and he didn't think it was very fair of whatever that was to trick him like that.

“Nine thousand four hundred twenty-five… nine thousand four hundred twenty-six… nine thousand four hundred twenty-seven…” The young machine continued dejectedly, slumping over on the table again. He maybe could have been reading this whole time, but then he wouldn't have been able to count, and he doubted he'd be able to keep focus on the information packed books Adam would ask him to read. He kept counting, bringing his hands from the table to thread his fingers in his short, messy hair. His head hurt, so he thought attempting to rub at it a bit while he counted might help make it a little easier for him to focus. Eve counted quietly, listening for any small hints like before that his brother may be near by.

“Nine thousand nine hundred ninety-seven… nine thousand nine hundred ninety eight… nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine…” He finished another thousand, lifting his head up as he came to the end. Big brother still hadn't come back. Counting was starting to make him tired so he decided to stop and wait quietly. His hands trembled each time he ran them through his hair, and he took to shaking them back and forth to try and make the tremors go away.

He waited and waited, but big brother didn't come back. It was unbearable at this point. He counted so high but he still didn't come back. It hurt to think about big brother being in danger, and Eve knew he would have to do something no matter how badly he wanted to keep his promise to big brother.

After waiting for even longer, he slammed his fists on the table and bolted from his seat. He knew he wouldn't get any praise now, not for being a good boy, but that didn't matter when he needed to know that the only thing that he has ever had was safe. Nothing else mattered when it came to his brother's safety. Eve flew to their playground, the pristine city of white, tripping over his own feet when he landed to run. It didn't matter, nothing mattered, he needed to see his brother.

When he arrived, his black boots standing out against the ivory floors, a heavy feeling of dread settled in what he called his stomach. There was nothing there, no androids, not even the ones he helped big brother leave as bait. They were all gone, and it didn't make sense to Eve because there were so many of them. He remembered, because he thought they were ugly. He looked around, checking every crevice for a hint of anything. Brother loved this place, he put so much care into creating it. His feet made low clicking sounds across the ground, echoing in the wide space, where it was too quiet for Eve to be comfortable. He played here with Adam all the time, this was a happy place for him.

He began to walk towards the center of the city, the large open space that brother loved to test new things in. As he got closer, he noticed a single figure lying on the floor. Panicked spiked inside of him higher than before, and he bit his tongue to keep from yelping from the wash of fear. He ran to the body surrounded in a pool of red, tripping over his own feet from how much his own body was trembling. Eve knelt down in front of Adam's body that was sprawled on the floor, cringing as his knees met the sticky red pool around his brother. He tentatively reached a shaking hand to touch his Adam’s shoulder. He didn't move.

“Brother? Big brother?” Eve choked out, his eyes filling with the same wetness from before. He shook Adam a bit harder, his own breath beginning to shorten when he remained motionless. There was so much red, so much red, and it began to stain Eve's fingers when he started to feel around him for any signs that he was there. “Brother, you can get up now, the androids are gone. You don't have to pretend now. You're really good at this! But it's okay, they're gone, you can get up now and play with me like you promised! So get up, brother, please.” He begged, but Adam didn't even do so much as twitch. Eve's panic only intensified. 

“This isn't fun, brother, please, get up! Please, please, I'm scared! I'm sorry I broke our promise, but you need to get up! I don't want to play this game! It's not fair!” Eve shrilled, his vision clouded by tears that ran down his reddening cheeks. He realized in this moment, that there was something more wrong with big brother. He was dead, but that had happened before, and Eve knew how to fix it.

He knew he needed to revive him quick, that this was like when he first was brought into the world, and brother was dying. He pressed his hands to Adam's ribs, where Eve himself had come from, and closed his eyes, concentrating and putting all of his energy into his palms. 

Nothing happened.

Eve's eyes widened and he tried even harder, his shoulders shaking with the effort and stress. It wouldn't work, brother wasn't coming back. He wasn't waking up. Because he was no longer connected to the network. Big brother was gone. The androids, they killed him. Eve let out an ear shattering wail, the mechanical sound echoing and bouncing off the now too bright walls of the city. A place he held happy memories in.

He pressed his stained fingers to his lips, covering his mouth as he took a moment to process the reality in front of him. Big brother was gone, he'd been by his side ever since Eve was born, he was always, always with him. And now he was gone. Several more loud, pained wails ripped from his throat as the thoughts came rushing forward, attacking his weakened mind.

Big brother will never move again, they'll never be able to play. Not anymore, never again. He'll never see Adam's rare smiles, or listen to him excitedly ramble about learning. He won't be able to feel brother’s hand ruffling his hair, or feel the hug that he had only had once before and craved ever since.

Eve collapsed to his elbows, where he was already kneeling, and sobbed into his brother's lifeless body. He felt the long hair brush against his nose, and it only served to make him cry more. He screamed so loudly that he felt the back of his throat tremble from the strain.

“No, please! This isn't fair! It's not fair! Big brother, this isn't fair!” He wept, beginning to feel sick again. He felt oil pool in his mouth again and had to pull away from Adam's body to spit it out in the far too white ground. His chest tightened so painfully from an invisible twisting feeling, and he had to back up a few inches to throw his body around on the ground. He rolled around, curled up and screaming, his eyes burning with the tears that wouldn't stop falling. His chest still hurt and the pain was spreading to his head, so he shrieked and banged his head on the rough, hard ground. That only succeeded in making it hurt even more, and Eve began to feel dizzy, but his only action was to slam his head repeatedly down, hitting it again and again. He knew he had too, or else his thoughts would be more jumbled than they already were. 

Pitiful wails and whimpers tore past his lips like an unstoppable force, and he dragged himself over to Adam’s limp body again, clutching it close to him like a lifeline. Which was far too ironic for him to even think about right now. 

“Why did you have to die?” He sniffled, his hands clenched into fists, his knuckles even began to turn white. He started to hate that color now. Brother died surrounded by it, it was ruined for him forever now.

Adam was born alone, he knew that, but they were together right away, he saved him that one time at their very beginning. Brother had him until he died, he had brother when he was born, and now he's alone, and he'll be alone until he died. He wouldn't have brother like how brother had him.

Eve knew his brother had bigger interests than him. He knew that, but he didn't have bigger interests at all. Big brother was the only one that mattered, brother was the only one he cared about. He always only looked at him, that's how he knew. He would look at his brother and he would always be looking towards something else. A goal he never decided to tell Eve about. But Eve was fine with that, as long as he had his brother, he was happy. As long as he was there, as long as they got to be together. That was all that mattered.

For him, big brother was the only… 

Eve suddenly felt dizzy again. He wished his brother would sit up and wrap his arms around him and promise not to scare him like that again. He wished big brother was here.

He didn't care about anything else, he didn't _need_ anything else. He didn't hate fighting, but he didn't really care about it. But he hated it when his brother was hurt, and he hated, hated it even more when his brother was _gone._ Eve just wanted to be in a quiet place with his brother, where there were no androids, and Adam could play with him all the time, and nobody would bother them anymore. But he couldn't do that now, because big brother was gone.

And the world didn't matter without big brother.

**Author's Note:**

> Now that my hands feel BROKE and i ate some soup, im gonna not write anything except fluff for them for the rest of my life but feel free to yell at me bc uwu comments make me feel valid even if ur out to burn me


End file.
